just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
