is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
