I must be too annoying 4 u.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
