Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
