Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I smell stomach acid.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
