im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
