Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
