Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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