I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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