Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
