she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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