And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
