she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
