Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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