Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
