i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
