I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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