So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
