You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
