So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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