he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
