pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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