Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
