it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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