we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
