can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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