Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
