I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
