Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Quick, to the slutcave!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize