Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
