omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
