every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
