We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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