I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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