I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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