I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
