Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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