oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
