It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
