I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
