there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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