It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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