i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
