I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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