he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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