I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
