I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
