Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
