Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
