look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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