I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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