there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
barbara walters just said penis...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
