New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
