Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
