We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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