Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
